First, I want to thank everyone for their love and kind words. It means a lot because I honestly never had the intention to share my miscarriage story publicly. To those women and men who found hope from reading my story, I continue to pray for you and ask God to bless you to conceive again when the time is right. This week I want to continue to encourage those ladies and men who are thinking how in the world can they possibly get back to normal after such a tragic loss. I want to say what worked for me may not work for you, so please don’t believe there is only one way to heal from a loss.
I will say suffering a miscarriage or infant loss is just like grieving a person you have known all your life. This little person was someone you created and bonded with even if only for 4 weeks. So don’t feel like your baby didn’t matter or count as a loss because a loss is a loss no matter how little time you got to experience this life forming within you.
As we dive into our first point I want to make the bigger picture of this whole post to be renewing your mind daily. Without renewing your mind daily you are taking the same mentality from your previous day into a new day, which is detrimental to your growth and healing. So as you read ask God to renew your mind anytime you find yourself doubting you can receive your healing.
Turn to God
Rightfully, I point you to God first. God is the first person I turned to in my pain. I went to the YouVersion Bible app and searched for miscarriage devotionals because I honestly didn’t have the strength to open my bible physically and research when at that moment I was weak and needing someone to point me to encouragement quick. Thankfully, I found a devotional that led me to 2 Samuel 12:1-23. In this account, David is faced with the consequence of sin which is losing his newborn son. Now let me preface this by saying I am not saying every person who loses their child sinned against God. I can’t say why you are going through this, but I can say God has various reasons as to why He does things and I encourage you to pray for your own revelation as to why God chose you to endure this burden. After reading these verses I was encouraged. I realized Satan could use this moment to pull me away from Christ, and my love for Christ is too strong for me to allow one sad situation to cause me to turn my back on God. It’s this thinking that put a target on my back, because no matter what I face I always trust God. I know that if you put me in a situation then He had a purpose for that pain. Thankfully God revealed that purpose to me, and I’m starting to walk into it.
Talk About It
This may be a better option for women than men because my husband wanted to avoid the topic and I respected him for that because I recognized we both grieve differently. Although my husband may not have experienced the physical pain or saw what I saw in the bathroom his pain still mattered and I wanted to protect his heart as much as I could. However, I needed to talk about it to get my thoughts and feelings out. So I turned to people online that I didn’t even know because it felt like a safe nonjudgemental space. The app I used to track my cycle had a support group that I posted a few times, but more often than not I scrolled through and read the stories of other women who were in my shoes. I also researched stories to check to see if my feelings were normal. There were literally days when I was on cloud 9 when I felt I should have been sad. I soon realized this happiness I felt wasn’t bad because it was the joy of the Lord surrounding me.
Funnel Your Pain into Purpose
I shared in my previous post that God placed a prayer event on my heart that soon turned into something more than I could fathom. Had I turned my heart from God I would have missed the opportunity to gather young women together to simply pray and worship. Now God is using that small idea and is shaping it into something bigger than I could have never fathom or dreamed of myself. So I encourage you to take time to really pray and seek God on what He wants you to do with this pain. God could simply be increasing your faith, trust and/or trying to draw you to Him. For someone reason, God keeps placing it on my heart to just reiterate He is not punishing you, but He is trying to reach you and get something out of you. Will you allow Him to or will you sulk in your pain?
Just remember that this pain won’t last always, because joy will come soon. Psalm 30:4 AMP reminds us that although, “Weeping may endure for a night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning. God doesn’t enjoy seeing you hurt and He hears your cries of agony. He is offering you peace, but you have to be in Him to receive it. So ask yourself the question, “ Where is my heart residing?” Your heart must reside with God to receive the peace and joy of God. Had I just sulked in my pain, stayed in bed and let all the negative thoughts cloud my mind I don’t believe I could have conceived spiritually and physically afterward. I’m grateful that God used me for this journey. It strengthen me and it made me realize just how strong I am in Christ.
So as always let’s end with a prayer
Thank you for the pain, Lord. In James 1:1 your servant said to count it all joy when we face problems. I believe you have given your people a purpose behind their pain, so my prayer is that you would reveal to your people why you chose them for this journey. Father, I pray you to use my testimony to propel them to seek you further for understanding and revelation. You don’t owe us a reason why, but God we do ask that you provide wisdom to understand the mysteries of you. So Father, do what only you can do and that is to heal, deliver, and guide your people. You know their pain and if anyone knows pain God your Son Jesus does. So have mercy on your people Lord and heal their hearts, so that their hurt no longer hinders their healing. We love you Lord and we trust you.
We pray this prayer in faith and expectancy. In Jesus Name We Pray, Amen!
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